Bit of a Giraffe!

There was a piece about comedians telling jokes in The Daily Telegraph yesterday which distracted me for a good half hour. I chuckled at some more than others and to save you the click and scroll here are my favourites.

• 'I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.' - Spike Milligan
• 'The wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave. I said: ‘Good. I’m being buried at sea.’ - Les Dawson
• 'Room service? Send up a larger room.'  - Groucho Marx 
• 'The worst two Winters of the 20th century . . . Mike and Bernie.'  - Victor Borges 
• 'The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.' - Jay Leno
• 'Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.' - Benny Hill 
• 'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.' - Bob Monkhouse 
• 'First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.' - Steve Martin 
• 'She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.' - Bob Hope

Still laughing at the Bob Monkhouse one! To see all 100 of the blighters, clickety-click here.

Bob, gagmeister supreme!